Is Danny Vega (30M) the Asshole?
By Matt Levy
There’s a popular subreddit called “Am I the Asshole?” that provides a glimpse into modern ethical situations, many of which are described as “straight out of Curb Your Enthusiasm.” The forum is full of stories of moral gray area such as:
“Am I the asshole (AITA) for making my sister sleep on the floor because she was given money for a bed but spent it on a computer?”
“AITA for being freaked out by my boyfriend is continually fighting with a Waffle House chef?”
“AITA for refusing to return a lost dog that was clearly well-loved?”
Strangers come together to debate the character, actions, and even dialogue of the situations. One man found himself preoccupied with these questions, and tired of text discussions, thought something like, “I should yell about these on a microphone.”
Danny Vega, 30M (the notation used for expositing age and sex on AITA), began his podcast about the subreddit in April 2019. He says he’s constantly wrestling with the question, “Am I The Asshole?”. I asked him why the question seems to vex him so much. He said, “I’m trying not to be a piece of shit.”
We’ll let you be the judge. Is Danny Vega an asshole?
I hate to insert myself into the story, but Vega requested I do it, since we’ve known each other for over a decade and said this story needed some “spice.” My honest assessment of the man is this: He can be a bit of an asshole but even when he is, it’s for your benefit.
In 2012, we were at a Tempe, Arizona bar known for its superb pizza and subpar bros. I was a developing comedian at the time and asked him what he thought of one of my jokes. I told him, “I didn’t make the scissors team. They cut me.”
He paused for a second and smiled, then said, “That’s cute but it won’t work on the stage.” At the time, it felt like a putdown, but trying to see his side, perhaps he was protecting me from going onstage with weak material. I tried the joke and he was right. The response was a resounding, “heh.”
Eight years ago, I would have said You’re The Asshole (YTA) but in 2020, I realize he was Not The Asshole (NTA). I submitted this draft to Vega who pointed out that technically this would be a NAH (no assholes here), since the full NTA definition is “Not the asshole (and the other person is). Fine, no assholes here. Though, once again, Vega has left me feeling like I can’t do anything right.
Vega’s story suggests he was born an asshole. Growing up in Casa Grande, AZ, he says he was always “kind of a negative kid.” Danny was a bully at his private school which he feels guilty about to this day. Sometimes, he thinks about reaching out to some of the kids he was mean to, but then he feels like that interaction is really more about his guilt, not actually benefiting the victim. Danny wondered, “Is this normal?”
Kids can be mean, so I give Vega a pass here. For his admission of guilt alone, I would call him NTA. Again, Danny informs me that this is actually a NAH — being bullied does not make one the asshole. I’m the Asshole (ITA).
Vega comes from a down-to-earth upbringing, suggesting that his a-hole nature is the product of his own personal cultivation. His mom is an English professor specializing in children’s lit and his dad, a psychologist.
Danny’s mom taught him to scrutinize his writing, make sure it comes from a personal place and is always clean and easy to read (NAH). He and his doctor dad debate everything, leading to a few choice verbal spats.
Once Danny’s dad bet him China was the only nation with a billion people. Danny countered, “A lot of people forget how freakin’ huge India is.” They Googled it and India crossed a billion people in 2000. Vega was 12 and won $50.
OK, You’re the Asshole (YTA) for taking $50 on a simple bet.
In any event, Danny’s dad is the least pretentious person he knows, never makes anyone call him doctor and his best friends are all people he plays racquet sports with. Danny’s dad’s claim to fame was once, “The best racquetball player in Casa Grande.”
Vega said, “Please note in the article that the population of Casa Grande is 50,000 people, and in the summer, 30,000.”
In high school, he had huge, curly hair that some have described as an “afro” or “Jew-fro.” Despite this, and being essentially a mean, fat, negative bully, he claims to have been normal. He had a couple of good friends, and lost his virginity in the van in a desert. Vega wanted me to note that the van was a 1998 Toyota Sienna, “the best in its class in safety — and cupholders.”
Danny wanted to do stand up as early as 16, but all the open mics in Phoenix, the nearest metropolis, were 21 and over. Danny started doing short form improv with a team called Exit 185 at the Blackbox theater and immediately fell in love.
In 2008, Danny headed to Arizona State, which he is “properly ashamed of”. He studied Film and Philosophy. There, he was a cast member in the school’s improv and sketch troupes and made his name as a stand up comic on campus, eventually winning a comedy competition that had him opening for Tom Green and Brian Posehn.
Vega confides that his comedy influences haven’t aged too well. He says, “I wrote my 40-page college thesis about Louis C.K., analyzing his jokes and TV show.” 40 pages about Louis even before he was Me-too-ed? YTA. Vega reported that he refused to pay for Louis’ newest special, but if he had access to it for free, “it would be tempting.”
Vega also notes a love for Woody Allen growing up. He says, “I’ve seen Annie Hall more than any other movie.”
I can’t fault the guy for loving the 1978 Best Picture. As long as he has only seen Manhattan (where Woody’s character pursues a 17-year-old girl) once, I’ll have to call this one NAH.
In 2012, after graduating from ASU, Vega moved to New York to focus more on stand up. The next year, I followed suit. Danny greeted me with open arms, taking me to three open mics one Saturday afternoon. At the second mic, I told a joke about an Arizona chain called Genghis Grill. It bombed. After, Danny told me “You doing that joke was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen.”
He was right but YTA. I was fragile and it was my first week in the city.
Danny’s biggest comedic claim to fame is his series, “I’m Walking Here,” an airtight, joke-heavy web series featuring Vega exploring a town or well-known landmark and making fun of it. His most-seen installment consists of roasting his hometown of Casa Grande, receiving over 800,000 views on YouTube.
I liked the series so much, I offered Danny tickets to a Knicks game at Madison Square Garden, seeing it as a prime location for his humor. In exchange for a $14 sandwich, I was tasked with filming and running sound. He also said it was fine to pitch jokes, if I had any.
This proved challenging. He would bluntly reject almost all of my pitches. I thought to myself, “I gave you a ticket. At least do my joke and then cut it in editing!”
Looking forward to the future, Danny and some friends, Ronnie Fleming and Lucas Connolly, are developing a new podcast called The GOAT. It focuses on the stories of people who are the Greatest of All Time (Oprah, Elvis, Kobe, etc). I asked Lucas to summarize his relationship with Danny. He said, “Love em or hate em, you’ll hate him eventually. He’s a self-appointed arbitrator of fairness and morality.”
Lucas then added bashfully, “That said, the guy gets things done.”
The three also frequently do stand up shows on the road. Vega and Connolly work well together as a feature-headliner pair because Vega’s act is heady and Connolly’s “head is in disrepair,” as Danny put it (YTA for that).
Looking at the big picture of Danny’s life and work, I have to say, he’s not as much of an asshole as he thinks he is. There’s a heart at his center that shines through, at least if you’re willing to wait several years (as I have).
Danny is decidedly NTA in my book. Or wait, is it NAH? Ugh, ITA.
